Blinded by Fate (The Ugly Roses Book 3) Read online

  I can’t help my attitude. And no matter how many times he tells me she’s safe, I won’t feel the same way until she’s here, in my arms.

  “First off, we need to speak with Denny. Ivan said he shook Bonnie Macintosh, I know he knows that she was paid but I need to know if she put it in writing.”

  I have enough balls to eyeball Patrov. I’m not a stupid fucker and I’ve worked this game before. “It’s solid Patrov. But there’s still a screw or two loose in the foundation because we haven’t seen Braumer, nor do we know if the judge will approve of her recanting her statement.”

  “Ryder, all I need to know is if she dropped pressing charges. If she does that, we’ll be okay. It’s one last nail in the coffin when we walk in there today.”

  I nod my head in understanding. “She’s dropping them, but she’s also scared shitless that Braumer is going to come after her. She was assured that with Becker out the picture, Braumer doesn’t have the money to keep her where she is. Anyway, I don’t know all the small, shit details. Denny’s looking after it and Ivan is out looking for Braumer. Both will meet us at the courthouse to be there for Elle.”

  I see a small amount of apprehension cross his face before he locks it down and nods. My guys want to be there for Elle almost as much as I do. They respect her and they’ll show her that respect by standing behind her today.

  “Alright, with that all aside, I’m heading over to the courthouse because I have a few people I want to talk to. In the meantime, Callaghan, go eat and shower. You can’t help her if you can’t help yourself. I say this with respect; look after you so you can look after her.”

  I’m two seconds away from saying something I may regret, and trust me, I regret little in my life. But I know he’s right. I’ve avoided sleep food and the bathroom in favor of pacing this garage and keeping my phone plugged into the wall.

  I settle for a chin lift in acknowledgment before doing just so.

  After, I’ll go get my woman.

  Chapter Five

  Elle

  The ride in the back of the police cruiser is quiet. I don’t know the officer escorting me and he doesn’t say much, but I do as he and the rookie woman officer says. I don’t act out of line, I don’t talk back.

  I don’t like travelling in handcuffs. In fact, I don’t like handcuffs at all. I remember thinking about all the things that could be done with them. In the bedroom that is. For most of us it’s a complete turn on but for me, being on the other side of these when they’re used in a non-consensual way—well let’s just say it won’t be my cup of tea.

  I’m in desperate need of a good shower. I was thankful that while in the infirmary the shower was rather private. I didn’t get a razor or nice conditioner to use though. Needless to say, my leg hair is four days long and my hair is in its usual bird’s nest with a lot more fuzz seeing as I didn’t have any product to tame it.

  I found an elastic band on the desk when I was being escorted out. I motioned to it and the woman on the other side allowed me to take it. With my hands cuffed, I did the best messy bun I could and called it better than a bird’s nest for court.

  I got to change back into my pre-prison clothes. So on top of the no shaving, I have on the same underwear I wore four days ago. Life could be worse so I don’t dwell on it. A few days ago I was forced to my knees, so I’m not going to complain about dirty undergarments.

  We pull in to the entrance of the underground garage. There are two security guards who check the officers’ IDs, as well as ogle me in the back seat before we are allowed entry. From there it’s a reverse repeat of last time.

  Get out of the car, walk to the elevator. Exit the elevator and move to the room Andrei is assigned. My cuffs are removed, thank god, and the guards leave me with him to have a few words before the hearing.

  Little is said between the two of us. He tells me that Bonnie is dropping the charges and little else. Seeing as I’m not allowed to speak unless spoken to when I get in there, I don’t put up a fuss. He’s not telling me to lie about anything, he’s not telling me to say anything at all so I assume I won’t need to speak.

  We exit the room through a different door and enter the courtroom. Andrei is ahead of me and I’m escorted with an officer at my side. I try not to because I don’t want to crack my armor, but I can’t help but search for Ryder. I use search as a loose term because he’s impossible to miss. Today he’s wearing an impeccable suit. And despite my earlier emotion of not being able to feel anything, I know he looks fucking good in it—it causes a flutter in my stomach.

  It’s charcoal in color with small pinstripes, and he has a pristine white shirt underneath and a silver-grey tie that reminds me of his eyes. I hate that the suit reminds me of when he went to the fundraiser with Claudia Becker, but I push that thought aside to look at the other handsome men beside him.

  Denny is just as dapper, surprising me to say the least that my Viking god of a trainer cleans up so well. He’s wearing a dark grey suit but his shirt is black. Unbuttoned at the collar and no tie.

  Ivan cleans up just as well, all black and broad shouldered. These intelligent and wonderful men are here to support me. When I’m able to speak again I’ll be sure to tell them how grateful I am.

  Jimmy, Laura and her man Brad flank them to the left. My best friend has tears in her eyes. I can’t handle them right now so I skim past her, taking in Jimmy and Brad’s clean-cut suits and dress slacks.

  I’m not an idiot. These people are my family, and as much as I don’t want them to see me in here, I’m glad my back won’t feel cold with all of those big empty benches behind me. It will be warmed by the people who continually try to thaw me.

  Ryder’s eyes carefully watch every movement I make. I know he wants to come to me. I can see the despair in his eyes. Of course, the despair is masked underneath a layer of fury and anguish. None the less, I know that while I’ve been away he would be doing all that he could to get me back.

  That’s not just who he is, it’s who I am to him.

  Andrei leads me to our seats and Ryder’s hand reaches out, his fingertips brushing against mine in silent support. It’s not enough to make me cry, but it’s enough to remind myself that I want more of his touch. The warmth that flows from him to me is undeniable, like the connection we share.

  That’s the fucked up thing about being attacked. Last time I wanted nothing to do with touches, but this time I want nothing more than for him to wrap his strong arms around me and hold tight. I’m strong. I’ve pulled through this and all the other shit I’ve been through. But for just a little while I want someone to be strong for me. I put on my tough front when it’s needed, and I will continue to keep that invisible armor in place while I’m here today, but I need to let go. I need to break. Not completely, just enough to let Ryder in, and let some of the hatred and fury out.

  I ignore what I want for the time being, settling down into my chair beside my lawyer. We rise briefly when the judge enters the room, but other than that I do what I was told. Sit, stay quiet, and only speak when spoken to.

  I know I look like hell. The right side of my face is bruised and swollen from my nose to my eye. It opens halfway but I don’t push it any further because it hurts the stitches above my eyebrow.

  I listen to the beginning of the court proceedings. Hoping my fate is much sweeter than the last time I was here.

  “Your honor, I am sure you have been privy to the information regarding what happened to my client while she was being held over the weekend. In light of this fact, I hope we can make today quick and painless as she has endured enough of the latter these past few days.”

  To my surprise, the judge casts a glance my way nodding his head in the affirmative, and ruffles through some paperwork before he addresses us.

  “Yes, I heard and should she wish to file charges, she may do so after we are finished here today. Now, in light of the harassment charges against Ms. O’Connor being dropped, and since there is no concrete proof of her ag
gressive behavior, I don’t see a reason for us to drag this out any longer than necessary Mr. Patrov.”

  “Thank you, your honor.”

  “However, due to the fact that there still seems to be an unsolved case in regards to Mr. Andrew Roberts and Cory Gallagher; I will ask that your client remain close and available should the authorities wish to question her further.”

  Patrov nods in acceptance. “Of course.”

  The judge looks to me and I too give him silent agreement.

  “Very well. You’re free to go Ms. O’Connor, court is adjourned.”

  The gavel no sooner slams then Ryder is at my side. I don’t fight it; I welcome the embrace with open arms. He breathes me in and I have no doubt I smell nothing like I did before. The lingering scent of coconut is long gone and replaced with antiseptic. Still he inhales me like a junkie would his next fix.

  “Fuck beautiful, I missed you.”

  I don’t get a chance to respond as he pulls my face out of his chest, and moves his large capable hands to either side of my neck. His thumbs brush my jaw so lightly I barely feel it.

  “I want to get out of here Ryder.”

  I plead with my eyes and his black ones blaze something fierce when they look over my slightly battered face.

  He nods quickly, “let’s go.”

  I move my eyes to Jimmy and Laura, silently asking them to sit this one out, just for a little while. They must sense my un-ease, or perhaps they know my needs better than I do because Jimmy puts his arm around Laura and they nod in acceptance. I reach out and put my hand on Brad’s arm, giving it a small squeeze. I haven’t seen him in almost a year but that doesn’t mean I’m not thankful for him coming today.

  He gives me a chin lift, so I drop my hand and allow Ryder to lead me out of the courthouse.

  * * *

  I’m silent as Ryder pulls me by my hand to a black SUV parked close by. I’m obviously still in a little bit of shock. He reaches across me and buckles my seatbelt when he gets in on the driver’s side.

  I would never not wear one, but my mind isn’t on autopilot right now. It’s just on nothing. I want to go somewhere familiar, have a shower, and sleep for the next two days. In one sense it seems like just yesterday when I was attacked, and in another it feels like a lifetime ago. I need rest before I can put my head back together.

  After my belt is secured, Ryder stays leaned over the console. His left hand comes up and brushes some of the hair back off my face. His eyes are pained, like he’s discovering the marks on my face for the first time. He seems to shake himself out of it before placing his lips on my forehead. I close my eyes at the contact, grateful for it yet not satisfied because it’s not enough.

  “I’m gonna get you out of here beautiful, then we’ll talk.”

  I nod my head, not because I want to talk but because I want to get out of here. He seems placated with my nonverbal answer and puts the truck in drive. I stare out the window, watching as life passes me by. I take in the taller buildings around the courthouse, thankful I live outside the city in a smaller township. Well, used to live. But for the moment I want the quiet. Not the hustle and bustle of all the cars around us. The people wandering to a fro about their lives not knowing what kind of evil is truly out there. I briefly think of the fact that I am back here for a reason, and that reason is because I am trying to find out who Andrew’s brother is.

  I haven’t thought about it at all these past four days. I haven’t thought about anything other than getting out of jail, and then trying to push what happened with the guard into the deep recesses of my mind.

  I know the answer before I ask, but I do it anyway.

  “Maverick?”

  Last I heard he was still in the bush, waiting for what would hopefully be Andrew’s brother to show up at the cabin in Pine Point.

  Ryder’s grip tightens on the steering wheel. “No sign of the brother, beautiful. Mav set up surveillance so he’s not sitting there. He rented a cabin two miles out but with the surveillance he’ll know if someone shows up.”

  I nod, not because I like the answer. I am glad he’s not directly in harm’s way should Andrew’s brother show up, I’m just not pleased they still haven’t been able to find him.

  The rest of the drive is in silence, aside from the radio being on low. I watch the city life turn into small town while listening to the words of Mumford and Sons’ ‘Believe’ come through the speakers. Music becomes one with me as I listen to the words, hoping that one day I can, in fact, believe.

  I’m not sure what yet, but just to believe.

  In something.

  Anything.

  Chapter Six

  Ryder punches in the code on the back of Jimmy’s building and leads me upstairs. I’m not surprised this is where we arrived. I do feel differently when he leads me to the spare room. I take note of the bag in the corner, and Ryder’s black boots sitting next to it.

  He stayed here while I was gone.

  Norma comes barreling out of Jimmy’s room with a huge smile on her face as she plants her big behind at my feet, waiting for love. I lean down and embrace my beautiful girl, running my hands over her silky fur, letting her know that I missed her and she was not forgotten.

  Ryder removes his suit jacket. His belt shoes and socks go next and then he grabs my hand to lead me toward the bathroom. It’s like he’s taking over my autopilot for me. He turns the shower on then turns back to me and begins undoing the buttons on his shirt. One by one they open to reveal his tanned skin and black ink before it’s completely off and hanging on the back of the bathroom door.

  Taking one step closer, his hands reach up and untangle the rubber office supply elastic from my hair. It falls around my face and shoulders. He pushes it back, keeping my face visible.

  Strong but gentle hands reach for the bottom of my shirt while his eyes come to mine, seeking permission. I raise my arms above my head and the grey tunic top is gently taken off. He kneels in front of me, removing my sandals and setting them aside. His hands go to my waist next and he lowers my black tights, taking the underwear I wore four days ago with them.

  I stand in nothing but my bra as he rises to remove that too. I’m not shy in front of him, nor do I move to cover the slight bruising on my side from the concrete floor when I hear him hiss.

  I leave my hands at my sides and watch him removing his own dress pants and boxers. Once they’re discarded, he puts his hands on my shoulders, running them slowly down my arms until they reach my hands. He entwines our fingers and pulls me forward, lips settling against my forehead as he speaks.

  “We’re going to shower, and if you’re hungry after that I’m going to feed you. After, regardless that it’s only two in the afternoon, I’m going to take you to bed.”

  I have no objections whatsoever other than the fact I still don’t have an appetite so I shake my head.

  “Just shower and bed.”

  It’s the first I’ve spoken since we left the courthouse, and his only answer is to pull me toward the shower. Opening the door, he gets in first, adjusting the temperature before pulling me in behind him. I don’t take the time like I normally would to appreciate his backside, nor do I ogle the front of him as the first droplets from the rain-style shower head come in contact with my skin.

  Ryder, being the gentleman that he is, pulls my front to him, stepping out of the spray so that I can fully be under it. I close my eyes and tip my head back, grateful for the hot water and the scent of Jimmy’s soap, opposed to antiseptic.

  He smooths the hair back from my face again, rinsing off the scent of jail and infirmary before reaching behind me where my shampoo and conditioner sit on the shelf. I hear the bottle open before his hands are back on me. Lathering the suds, his fingertips massaging my scalp are heaven. I relish in the gentle but firm touch.

  Rinse and repeat with the conditioner. I still haven’t opened my eyes, I don’t need to. Or maybe I’m afraid that if I do I’ll break. I’m dead on my feet and I promi
sed myself a good shower before I would let that happen. I take a deep breath as his hands start massaging soap onto my skin. “Coconut,” he says.

  I then open my eyes, taking in the deepest blacks that regard me with nothing but adoration. I lean forward and whisper, my lips across his, “thank you.”

  He has no idea how much I’m thanking him for. It’s so much and yet I feel like maybe thank you is not enough. He kisses me back, once on my lips, and another to my forehead before he continues with his hands, massaging soap onto my back, my sides, gently over my ribs and around my front. It’s not sexual, it’s thorough and considerate. When he nears my thighs I pull back. The small shock is evident on his face as I shake my head.

  “I need to shave.”